We’ve all felt it—that sudden tightening in our chest, the urge to run, or the feeling of being completely frozen. We call it fear. But have you ever stopped to wonder why we feel it and how it actually works in our daily lives?
I used to think fear was just a survival instinct—something that only happens when something dangerous, like a spider or a predator, might take your life. But the more I look at it, the more I realize that fear is actually much more complex than that.
Fear vs. Disgust
I’ve noticed that fear isn’t always about physical danger. For example, many people (myself included!) are terrified of cockroaches. It’s not because a cockroach can kill me; it’s because they are ugly.
I have this specific fear that if I accidentally step on one, that white substance from its body might touch me. In this case, my "fear" is actually a deep hatred of touching something gross. It shows that fear can come from things that aren't harmful, but just deeply unpleasant.
The Two Faces of Fear: Aggression and Escape
When fear hits, I’ve seen people react in two main ways: Aggression or Running Away. I experienced this firsthand recently:
- The Escape: One day, while riding my bike, a dog started barking at me. I was so afraid that I accelerated as fast as I could to get away, almost causing a massive accident on a speed breaker.
- The Aggression: The next day, I was in my car and the same dog barked again. Even though I was safe inside, I felt a rush of anger and wanted to hurt the dog.
I realized that when we feel weak or unprotected, we often hide our fear behind anger. It’s a way to try and regain control when we feel vulnerable.
The Secret to Overcoming Fear
I found the most interesting lesson on the third day. I drove the same route, but this time I rolled up the windows, turned on the AC, and put on some music. When the dog barked, I felt nothing—no fear and no anger.
This taught me a huge lesson: When you feel protected and secure, fear loses its power. You don’t need to be aggressive or run away when you know you are safe.
Final Thoughts
Fear isn't just about life-threatening situations; it shows up in many different, subtle ways in our lives. Sometimes we don't even realize we are scared; we just think we are angry or annoyed. The next time you feel a rush of anger, ask yourself: "Am I actually just afraid?"
Understanding where your fear comes from is the first step to staying calm, rolling up your "windows," and moving forward with peace.
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