For most of my life, I lived under the shadow of other people's decisions. From childhood through my early adult years, I was dependent—first on my parents, and then on my brother. It felt easy at the time because I didn't have to face the fear of making a wrong choice. If something went wrong, I could just blame them.
But as I sit here now, alone and responsible for my own life, I’ve realized that true adulthood only begins when you stop leaning on others and start standing on your own.
The Trap of Easy Decisions
I spent years working at my brother's office and following his lead. Whether it was financial choices or learning to ride a bike, he was the one in control. I even spent seven years lost in the world of manga, anime, and novels—spending 10 to 12 hours a day escaping reality because I wasn't ready to face the pressure of the real world.
I realized that escaping into stories was my way of running away. It gave me instant pleasure, but it didn't build a future. I even remember pretending to learn HTML while actually reading manga behind my brother's back. I was physically there, but my mind was miles away from responsibility.
The Reality of Value and Money
Now that I am married with two children, the world looks very different. I’ve come to a stark realization: In this life, people seek you out for the value you provide.
- Emotional Value: How you support those around you.
- Physical Value: Your presence and help.
- Financial Value: This is often the most important. Without money, it feels like you have nothing.
It’s a tough pill to swallow, but I’ve learned that no one is truly "there for you" unless you are contributing something to the relationship. The romanticized version of family and love we see in movies isn't always the reality of a hard, working life.
"When I was a child, a fever meant care and good food from my mother. Now, a fever just means fear—fear of how I will earn money if I can't work."
Taking Back the Reins
Despite the regrets of "wasting" time in the past, I am now focused on figuring out my own way. I am learning to use AI tools, exploring the digital world, and trying to build a path where I am the one making the decisions. I don't want to live under someone else's care anymore; I want a life where I decide how much I earn and where I go.
Final Thoughts
Growing up is realizing that no one is coming to save you. It’s about moving from "it’s easy to let them choose" to "it’s necessary for me to lead." It’s a lonely journey sometimes, and the pressure can be overwhelming, but it is the only way to truly own your life.
Have you ever felt like you were living someone else's version of your life? How did you finally take control?
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